Is Your Speech Gracious Or Are You An Impatient Yeller?

Next month, Rosalie will graduate from college, Grace Noel will graduate from high school, and Josiah Lee will enter middle school. What?! How did this happen? Time certainly flies! Despite our countless parenting mistakes, our kiddos have done okay. They kept up with their studies, contributed to their clubs and teams, gained valuable work experience and skills, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, they follow Christ. Thank you, Jesus. This is all God's grace and ALL the glory belongs to Him.

Sometimes I receive praise for how our kiddos turned out, but I've made a TON of parenting mistakes that I wish I could take back. I wish I could tell you that I never yelled at my kids, never exasperated them like a little boy, and never showed them my mean Wick face. This would be false though. At times, I've been an impatient and ungrateful dad. It doesn't have to be this way, and I want to help you to not repeat my mistakes. Colossians 4:6 says, Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. I memorized that verse over two decades ago when I felt a leader didn't give me the full picture.

How do you respond to your children and others when they question your authority, try to deceive you, or give you the cold shoulder? Is your speech gracious (kind and courteous) and seasoned with salt (preserving Christ's loving message) or do you fly off the rails, finger point, and run wild like a WWE wrestler? How would you feel if a camera was on you 24/7 and all of your home interactions were played at a chapel or church service? I'm pretty confident that things aren't always looking pretty in your home.

So how can we be gracious with our speech, seasoned with salt, regardless of how we're treated or what our circumstances are? How can we tame our tongue and use our words so that we draw our children and others to Christ? Below are four simple but powerful ways to encourage and build up our children and those around us with our words.

1. Look to Christ and tap into the Spirit. Philippians 4:13, an often misquoted verse, says I can do all things through him (Christ) who strengthens me. This verse doesn't mean that we can accomplish any task in front of us, but it does mean that regardless of the hardship we face, we can respond with gracious speech like Christ. Look at Christ's example and through His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, have Him guide you in what you say (and don't say) and how you say it.

2. Pray Constantly. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says never stop praying. Prayer should be a lifestyle, not just something we do before meals or when we want something. If we are constantly communicating with God, thanking Him, confessing our sins, pleading with Him, and praying for others, our words will be more gracious. Prayer brings us closer to God so we better serve our children and the people God places in our lives. 

3. Meditate on Scripture. Fix your mind on God's Word and think deeply about it. Don't just read James 1:19; meditate on it! Emptying your mind isn't found in the Bible. We should fill our minds with verses like James 1:19 which says, Know this, my beloved brothers; let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. Doing so makes me much more likely to speak words of grace and display Christ to my children and others.

4. Remember we will be judged for our words. Matthew 12:36 says, I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak. I know this verse may not be at the top of your favorite Bible verses list, but it's important to remember that when Christ returns, we will be held accountable for our words and actions. Having that at the forefront of my mind motivates me to do what is right. We should want to please God in all that we think, say, and do so we can hear God say, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

Having gracious speech, seasoned with salt, isn't always easy, but it can be done. It should be done. Our children need this and so do others. If we look to Christ, tap into the Spirit, pray constantly, meditate on Scripture, and remember we will be rewarded for the good we do, our speech will grow in grace and bring God the glory. Do it. Speak words of grace and bring God the glory. 

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14

There is NO Greater Holiday!

What would you say if you were asked what the greatest holiday is? I'm not asking what is the most popular holiday or your favorite holiday, but what is our greatest holiday? Did you answer Easter? I don't think most people would put Easter at the top of their list, but without a doubt, Easter is the greatest holiday we have. Easter is only days away (March 31st), and this day should be the year's biggest party! 

So what's the big deal about Easter?  Easter commemorates the resurrection of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World. If you need help understanding why that is so significant, below are five reasons explaining why there is nothing more special. 

1. Jesus' resurrection proves He was our sinless Redeemer showing power over death. Believers in Christ do not need to fear death since we will be resurrected and live eternally in Heaven. A sweet home is being prepared for us in a perfect place free from mourning, crying, and pain. 

2. For Christians, Christ's resurrection means our sins are forgiven, and we are made right with God. We don't need to put our heads down thinking about how we've committed all these crimes against God. No. We can put our heads up and thank God that our debts have been paid and He sees Christ in us! 

3. Because Christ resurrected, we who trust in Christ will get resurrected bodies in Heaven. We will sing, dance, and enJOY an incredible life in Heaven with bodies that won't ever get sick or injured. No more ACL surgeries, root canals, or broken bones. Woo!

4. Christ's resurrection affirms that Jesus is the prophesied Messiah of Israel (Isaiah 53) and the King and Lord of the New Jerusalem, the City of God (Revelation 21). We can trust that the Scriptures are true. They are inspired, inerrant, and infallible! 

5. The Resurrection of Jesus means we can proclaim His good news to the world. It's at the very heart of the Christian faith and message. HE IS RISEN! Let's share this incredible truth with everyone we can! HE IS RISEN, INDEED!

Easter is the greatest holiday and something we should celebrate every day! Are you doing that? If not, let's change that. If you would like to discuss this further or have a question about what it means to follow Christ, don't hesitate to drop me a line. I would love to hear from you and do what I can to point you to our Risen Christ. To God be the glory!

"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9

Why YOU Should Join A Small Group

When we moved back to Indiana after serving in Tianjin, China for over a decade, Megan and I had much to learn about the American church. We desired to connect with others and build Christlike friendships. It was easier for me because I started working at Evansville Christian School immediately. For Megan, it was a little more challenging because she started a part-time teaching position nearly half a year later. We learned that if we wanted to build relationships, it would require more than just worshiping on Sunday mornings. Things changed for us when we joined a small group.

What is a small group? A small group is a group of at least three people (and probably should be limited to a number where you don't start saying your group is kind of getting big) that meets regularly (weekly, biweekly, and at least monthly) where you do Christian life deeply together. Small groups meet (1-3 hours) to grow closer to Christ. How does a small group do that? Below are five ways our small group has helped us grow closer to each other and God.

1. We pray with one another. In a small group, we talk about what's happening in our lives and thank God for the good He is doing and going to do. Through prayer, we cheer each other on and remind each other of God's amazing attributes.

2. We study God's Word or a solid book that helps us better understand God's Word. Studying God's Word in a small group helps us see things we aren't seeing. We need to surround ourselves with smarter and wiser people who can teach us a thing or two.

3. We serve one another. Life can be hard so when we need a reliable ride, a trustworthy babysitter, a warm meal, job suggestions, or a listening ear, being part of a small group can help. Good small groups consist of Christlike servants who often set aside their rights. 

4. We share our junk. Life can also be messy, and we need accountability. A small group is a place where we can confess our sins with people we trust. A good small group will consist of people who will love us well and display Christ to us.

5. We build friendships. We laugh and we cry. We encourage one another and point each other to the cross. Over time, God knits us together and builds strong relationships that bring Him glory. In a world filled with gossip and grudges, good small groups bring joy to the heart.

Although I often like being alone, I'm so thankful for my small group and all they do to help deepen my faith. How has a small group helped you grow closer to Christ? I would love to hear what you love about your small group and why others should join one!

Ten Ways We've Trained Up Our Kiddos

Being a good parent can sometimes be HARD! We can be a messy bunch, and our communication is sometimes crazy confusing (Man, I hate sin). Can I get an amen? Being a good parent can also be some of the most rewarding and fulfilling work God ever gives us. Can I get an amen?

It's nice when your children do well in the classroom or achieve success in the art, music, or sports world; however, this pales in comparison to when your children obey and worship the Lord. Megan and I have made countless parenting mistakes, but our gracious God has made none. The fact that our three kiddos are walking with the Lord is all God’s grace. This is what we care about the most. 

Although we've made our share of mistakes, we've also done a few things right - Thank you, Jesus! Below are ten ways we are or have TRAINED our children that I hope can help you. 

1. We expect our kids to read and study God’s Word independently, and I ask them about what they’re learning from time to time. Scripture saves (1 Timothy 4:16), sustains (Matthew 4:4), and sanctifies (helps us become more like Christ). 

2. We often have family devotions in the evenings. Read more here: The Importance of Family Worship. 

3. We worship together on Sunday mornings and typically talk about the sermons during and/or after the service. I quiz my kids, and Megan reminds me to not forget to enJOY God, church services, and the car ride home. :-)

4. Our kiddos usually attend youth group at our church on Wednesdays and sometimes other church youth groups and trips that we think would be good for them. We need help in training our kids to grow in their faith.

5. Rosalie & Grace Noel were discipled by godly women from our church and were part of all-female small groups at ECS. Again, we need help in training our kids to grow in their faith!

6. My kiddos have spent most of their lives in schools where Truth was taught. We are so thankful for the role TIS & ECS played in their lives.

7. We confess our sins to each other. When daddy messes up, I say specifically what I did wrong, say what I plan on improving, and ask for forgiveness. When I'm struggling to think in a Christlike way, I let my family know and ask for their prayers. James 5:16

8. I routinely exhort (strongly encourage and urge) my children when I leave the house. I remind them to give God the glory and enJOY Him (from the Westminster Catechisms). I might also tell them to serve their classmates and do what they can to bless those around them.

9. When we watch movies, listen to music, play sports, etc., we talk about Jesus and what the Bible says. We don't live a dualistic life separating our faith from everyday matters. We want our children to think and act like Jesus so we try to look at everything through a gospel lens. 

10. When our children display Christ, we try to praise them for the work God is doing in them. When our children are loving, filled with joy, patient, and bearing other good fruit (Galatians 5:22-23), we want our children to know that this is far more important than the academic and athletic achievements they accomplish.  

There you have it. Of course, if we do everything above in our own power and without love, we are nothing but noisy gongs and gain nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3). We have to constantly pray and trust that God will give the increase (1 Corinthians 3:6-8). 

If you would like to share something that has worked for you or have a question about anything I shared, let me know! I would love to hear what God has taught you or help in whatever way I can. To God be the glory! 

Start the Year Fresh With Forgiveness

Forgiveness is powerful. When someone wrongs us, but sincerely asks for forgiveness, God gives us the opportunity to display the richness of His mercy to us in Christ Jesus. We decide to no longer hold the offense against the offender and allow them to receive our gracious gift. Hopefully, this can lead to the reconciliation of the damaged relationship. 

Sadly, I have wronged jillions of people in my 50 years which has created a great deal of heartache and pain. I've given dirty glances for minuscule infractions, yelled at people out of frustration and anger, and held grudges instead of tapping into the Spirit and displaying Christ. There is so much I would like to redo, but once the words leave your mouth or you execute an action, you can't take it back. 

Thankfully, many people have forgiven me for my boneheaded ways (which were considerably more prevalent before my conversion 24 years ago). Thankfully, I'm increasingly hating my sin and growing in God's grace and knowledge. Thankfully, God has provided me a great church and godly friends who point me to Jesus. I've learned to not live in my past but also not forget what God has forgiven me of. 

When you've been forgiven so much and understand you don't deserve the life you have, you learn to be quick to forgive others when they sin against you. It's certainly not always easy, but it is freeing and helps you move forward to better bring God the glory. Are there people you need to forgive? Do you have resentment, anger, and bitterness in your life that is preventing reconciliation from happening? 

2023 is over and the new year has begun so let's reflect on what Christ did on the cross, ask those we've wronged to forgive us, and extend forgiveness to those who have wronged us. We can't control how people respond, but we can make decisions that display Christ and magnify His name. Just do it. To God be the glory!

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13